Firstly my Pappa died. My Nanna died 5 years ago so losing my last remaining grandparent hit me hard. His death made me raw, I literally cried at everything from adverts on TV to dishes in the sink. I still well up thinking about him. He never wanted to get old, in fact he hated it. He was always full of life, always joking and loved us grandchildren. That's the way I will remember him, not that in his last year of life he didn't know who I was or the way old age had taken its toll on his body and mind. In a way his death has helped us as a family because we had all become so distant. I rarely saw my siblings or mum but now all I want to do is spend time with them.
As well as grieving I have been working at Maccy Ds. I work there full-time now so have had little time to focus on my art. My makeup kit dwindled as the products slowly went out of date and I couldn't afford to replace them. Friends would ask what's happened to my makeup business and I didn't have the heart to tell them that due to grieving for my Pappa I had no motivation to do anything creative. The grieving process is a funny thing. All my energy went on working at McDonalds and trying to pay off debts long overdue.
I announced last week to those that know me that I wouldn't be doing makeup on others for the time being. Firstly I don't have the kit but secondly I'm no longer insured. Now that my creative juices are coming back I will continue to create art on myself through my social media channels, blogging/YouTube/Instagram. I want to keep practicing but also it just simply makes me happy.
I hope that by being away so long I haven't been forgotten. I will try to be more social on Twitter and Instagram so my old followers know I'm still around. I'll blog about my latest YouTube video later today.
Thanks for reading my bubbly friends xxx
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