Friday, 24 January 2014

Sexting - Cheating or fun?

Lets have some fun... with thanks to Louisa over at RaraRouge blog this post is a follow on from her post 'Sexting. Why it is bad for your health.' She focuses on sexting as a teenager and why it can lead to bulling and even suicide. Please pop over and read her post. I'm going to chat to you about sexting as an adult and how it's perceived. I know this is a little different from my average posts but it's something that has affected myself and many women I know.
FACT: Sexting is defined as an act of sending sexually explicit materials through mobile phones. The messages may be text, photo, or video.
Whether you're single or attached you will no doubt come across sexting. I've lost count of the number of celebrities who have been caught 'doing it' via text. Remember when Tess Daly was ‘shattered’ after her husband Vernon Kay confessed to exchanging lewd text messages with five girls.
The Strictly Come Dancing host told her friends: ‘The trust is gone.’ However she forgave him for the sake of their children.
I myself have had to deal my boyfriends doing this on a several occasions. One ex couldn't understand how he was cheating as he hadn't done anything physical. Yet he clearly knew what he was doing had to be wrong otherwise he wouldn't have been hiding his phone, throwing it under the bed when I walked into the room or freaking out when I picked it up. It didn't stop there though as I suddenly wasn't allowed out with him and his mates anymore. I found out after we broke up through his 'mate' he had actually been meeting up with girls. One boyfriend joined dating sites using his own name, location and photographs. Relationship status though said SINGLE.
What the experts say about Sexting...
"If you believe in monogamy and expect your partner to be monogamous, it crosses a sexual and emotional boundary that is very uncomfortable for the other person," says Nina Atwood, author of “Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid.” “Since it involves a recipient, it’s a way of being sexually intimate with another person, and that’s cheating.”
Psychologist Karen Sherman, who also agrees sexting counts as cheating because it crosses boundaries and challenges trust, says it’s actually a more serious issue than infidelity.
I am no prude by any means. I have no problem with porn within reason. Those people have been paid to pose in magazines, perform on film for the sole purpose of getting the viewer excited. But when a person seeks out another to send explicit texts and photos back and forth a line has been crossed. It's worse than going to a bar and flirting because it's a way of being intimate with another person and those photos can actually be saved!
FACT: Sending or receiving a sexually suggestive text or images under the age of 18 is considered child pornography and can result in criminal charges.
So what does this mean if you're..
Single? Be cautious. Sexting can be fun and cheeky when done correctly. Don't send anything you wouldn't want you're mum to see. Once you hit send you lose all rights to that image and the recipient can then (if they are an asshole) post it on the Internet for everyone to see.
In a Relationship? Think to yourself 'Would I be happy if the tables were turned?'. Sending images and lewd messages may seem harmless, but it can cause serious damage to long-term relationships. Sexting each other can be a great turn on especially if you have been together awhile and trust each other. However sexting people outside of the relationship is cheating. And if your partner enjoys the rush of getting turned on via the web or phone, experts say putting up with the violation of trust shouldn’t be an option. Instead, the betrayal could be an opportunity for you to empower yourself and evaluate whether the relationship is worth salvaging.
Have you ever had to deal with sexting? Have you been caught out and sent a naughty text to the wrong person? I'd love to hear your stories.
oX Wendy Xo